Whenever we’re getting into a serious relationship, the question of “what are you looking for in a relationship partner?” often seems like an easy one to answer.
We usually think of attributes like cleverness, compassion, sense of humor, wit, elegance, or trustworthiness.
But the truth is that no matter what we think we’re looking for in a partner, the people we eventually end up choosing don’t necessarily match our criteria for an ideal companion. Why?
The answer is very simple: we don’t always want what we say we want.
The laws of attraction aren’t always fair.
When we are deciding the kind of attributes we want from our ideal partners, we often picture someone who complements us only in positive ways, but subconsciously, we end up getting attracted to people who complement us negatively too.
To clearly define what kind of relationship you want and what kind of partner you consider ideal for you, start dating online. This will help narrow your choices instead of going through the stress of conventional offline dating.
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The idiom “opposites attract” literally suggests that people who are very different from each other are often attracted to each other.
This simply means that we are prone to pick partners who are currently capable of carrying our current emotional baggage.
When choosing a life partner, it’s important to let go of harmful tendencies and memories from our past.
Qualities To Look Out For In A Relationship Partner
Of course, it is impossible to know for sure what the good and bad characteristics our partner will bring to the table when we first meet them, there are some common traits you might want to look for in a partner.
No one’s perfect, but here are some qualities to look for in a partner:
1. Emotional Maturity
In case you didn’t know, seeking perfection in a relationship is a waste of time. What you need is someone who can think and learn about themselves; someone who isn’t quick to react.
Such people don’t let their instant emotions decide their actions. They aren’t looking for someone to fix or complete them. They’re independent and self-assured.
Whoever you choose, your partner should be open to hearing what you have to say. Open and honest communication are key ingredients for a healthy relationship. Your partner shouldn’t be hell bent on his or her own growth and opinions only.
Healthy couples should be willing to openly communicate about themselves and their feelings and reactions to each other. This will help them avoid building cases that create tensions that later fractures the relationship. Be resilient and hear what your partner thinks too. This would solidify the foundation for a workable relationship that is sure to evolve over time.
Another key ingredient in a workable relationship is honesty. Research shows that lying less is linked to better relationships yet lying is very common in many relationships.
You should be able to trust whoever you choose as your partner. Mere attraction is not enough. It is better to be with someone who will open up to you, even revealing that they’re into someone else, than to see such topics as a taboo or keep them off limits. Such actions create room for secrecy.
No matter how painful or bitter the truth is, you need to really know your partner. Being with someone who keeps things to themselves can make you feel insecure and mistrusting.