Real Love Is a Choice

We’ve known each other for years, but we didn’t start dating until much later. I was on board with the idea right away. We only dated for a few weeks before realizing that we were in love. Excited, I suggested an immediate, spontaneous wedding in Vegas. Kim, however, was more pragmatic. She wanted to give herself time to plan everything out.

Feeling deflated, I said, “We’re so different. You are a planner, and I am spontaneous.” Kim’s eyes widened. In a hurry, she responded, “I’m spontaneous! I am totally spontaneous. Just tell me when you’d like to be spontaneous, and I’ll write it in my planner…”

I looked at her strangely. She was serious! Kim clearly did not grasp the concept of spontaneity. It might sound funny, but the more I thought about this conversation, the more it became clear that the choice to love someone is one of the most beautiful aspects of love.

It’s been said that true love is a commitment made to an imperfect person. That’s true. After all the butterflies have flown away, you will realize that your spouse is as flawed as you are. In turn, they will learn that you are just as flawed as they are.

You then understand that true love is not just an euphoric feeling. It’s a conscious decision to love someone for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. You can’t control who you’re attracted to, but you can absolutely decide who you fall in love with—and more importantly, who you stay in love with.

In our society, feelings are often emphasized. We’re taught to always follow our feelings and do what makes us happy. But feelings are fickle and fleeting. Real love is the constant north star through life’s storms—it is sure, true, and consistent. Even when we are lost or confused, we can always find strength and comfort in the love we choose.

Life already provides plenty of spontaneity, with its rejections, job losses, and heartaches. When we face these storms, we can’t just abandon ship. True love means weathering life’s storms together.

This post was written by a professional at Valenti Matchmaking. Valenti Matchmaking offers discreet personal elite matchmaking services as well as all levels of personal, one to one relationship coaching for a select, worldwide clientele of unapologetically selective single, successful and attractive men and women in search of a compatible life partner.